WASHINGTON, D.C. — After months of living at Number One Observatory Circle, Vice President Mike Pence and his wife Karen still cannot decide what color they’d like their master bedroom to be.
“I’ve been on standby for about three months now. Besides taping the windowsills and doorways, I haven’t really done anything here, but I don’t mind. The federal government has me working on an hourly basis, so I just show up and hang out here in the mansion. They’ve got a pretty sweet setup. Anyway, at this point, they’ve narrowed their options down to taupe, sand taupe, pale taupe, grey taupe, and slate grey,” replied Mike from Prolific Painters.
“We want a modernist-conservative color with some flare that really reflects who we are. After a chat with Deacon Ron at the church a few weeks ago, grey taupe has really been speaking to me, but Karen hopped on the slate grey bandwagon earlier this week. All we know is that we can’t afford to make any hasty decisions. Best to approach this kind of decision very carefully,” commented Pence plainly while chewing on a piece of iceberg lettuce.
There have also been recent reports of heated debates between Mike and Karen over the cut height of the front lawn grass.