Kickapoo, Texas—Upon breaking ground on what will soon be a 55-foot wall dividing the United States and Mexico, a giddy Donald J. Trump couldn’t help but feel a rush of excitement. His hard work of making unfeasible claims like a jackass had finally paid off, and with rolled up sleeves and a hard hat on the wrong way, Trump dirtied his hands once more, condescendingly suggesting to Mexican construction worker Jerry Chavez that it might be easier to pour concrete from that side of the wall.
“Listen Chorizo, I’ve had tremendous success in real estate and I’ve overseen tons of projects. Great projects. And believe me–by the way, my buildings are beautiful, aren’t they? Have you seen my buildings? Absolutely gorgeous buildings–I know that you’d have a much easier time starting your pouring on that side over there. Better footing, terrific footing on that soil over there. Better footing than Obama had on this country, I tell you that much.”
A witness coworker stated that this was a blatant attempt at scamming labor out of a hard-working American citizen before he inevitably barricaded himself out of the country. “I saw the President’s snide grin after he said it. At first, we all thought he was poking fun at himself and his past remarks on Mexicans, but after consistently tapping Jerry on the ass with a shovel like a cattle and yelling ‘Andale andale!’, I knew something was up.”
Despite Trumps efforts, Chavez was easily able to step back over the wall by the time 5:00 pm rolled around, as a wall that size takes several months to complete.
Trump never made a statement on the matter, simply because no one could stop the golf cart.