Belichick Trades Firstborn Son For Punter, 6th Round Pick

463d06de-0e18-43ca-abdd-74968cca8040-2821-000001c9911f047d_tmp-3FOXBOROUGH, MA – After winning his fifth Super Bowl title with the Patriots, head coach and GM Bill Belichick continues to pile up draft picks and assets to keep his dynasty intact, even at the expense of his family life.

ESPN’s Adam Schefter reports that in exchange for assistant coach Stephen Belichick, New England will receive punter Colton Schmidt and a 2018 6th round draft pick from the Buffalo Bills.

When asked about the controversial trade, the coach replied frankly, “It was a football decision and he was a bastard anyways. Never would’ve lived up to the family name.”

NFL Media’s Ian Rapoport has stated there are rumors that the legendary coach is also considering arranging his daughter Amanda to marry Jake Arians, son of Arizona coach Bruce Arians in exchange for Cardinals long-snapper Mike Leach.

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