The annual feast of Saint Valentine approaches ladies and gentleman, and if you have a significant other that you genuinely care about you’ve probably already purchased, created, and bedazzled a heartfelt gift for that person.
If you’re part of the other 90% of the population stuck in a half-assed and doomed relationship you likely haven’t put much thought or effort into that gift. Don’t panic just yet friends; we’ve taken it upon ourselves to find five affordable and heartwarming gifts that will spruce up any relationship.
5. Clay Pigeons
Pick up a 90 count box of clay targets to get yourselves in the mood! Spend a lovely afternoon in a muddy field shooting pigeons to unravel some of that pent up relationship angst.
Gift your love interest a box of band-aids and maybe stick a cute homemade note in there. Something along the lines of “Babe, these band-aids will metaphorically patch all of the emotional damage we inflict on each other” should get you laid easily.
3. $5 White Castle Gift Card
Nothing says “I love you” like the dollar value of three and a half original sliders from the castle! If you feel like getting flashy grab a nice white envelope for the card.
2. Runescape Membership
This one is always a home run for me. With a premium membership your significant other will unlock a plethora of spells, quests, lands to explore, and more! I know what you’re thinking. What if they don’t play Runescape? Dump them immediately.
1. Smashmouth Poster
Want some spicy decor for the bedroom to get things nice and moist? Put the “x” in “sex” with a 16 x 24″ poster of Shrek’s favorite band smiling down at you as you do the dirty.